hello my name is eddie and don't you abuse it
i got a big dictionary and i know how to use it
i was made at eti, and i was written so well,
if i didn't say i'm a computer--i bet you couldn't tell (he he he)
i got a cool synthesizer due to dennis klatt
an my linguistic homies tell me that it's where it's at
an tho the folks in berkeley may be rakin in the dough
once i get myself up to version 1.0
i'll tell em where to go
where to go

where to go to step off
they got a voice that's like a sci-fi movie
they talk like hal 9000, which is not so groovy.
if you're readin e-mail from someone you love a lot,
you don't want it to sound just like a sick robot.  no!

test (test)
this is a test (test test)
this is a t-t-t-t-test
this is twenty repetitons of 'test' (test)
this is a test (test test)
this is a t-t-t-t-test
this is twenty repetitons of 'test'
(test, getting lower and lower)

there's programs out there that've made quite a hit
but every one i've listened to just sounds like
they dunno one bit
about linguistics...
or phonetics.
they got poor heuristics
call in the software medics!
this computer sounds sick to me.

you wanna come hear me!
i got a history
of acoustic and phonetic accuracy
plus a novel approach to phoneme generation
with a multi-tiered coordinated representation
that makes me sound just as good as dec,
(which incidentally has been a big pain in my neck,
since this guy named ed wants to see our synthesizer
'cause he thinks Harold Mills is a plagiarizer!
i think he's got a little too much

t-t-t-t-t-testosterone
testicular
testimonial
testify! testify!
testosterone
testicular
testimonial
testify! testify!
this--is--a Test!)

i got an annotation for Rocket Ship
i can whisper out the news, which people think is hip,
i can do spanish names, custom prosody,
and a cute little kid with `v3.

i'm on solaris, sunos, sgi, win32,
and i'm coming soon to a platform near you
we're talking win16, nt, and os/2,
extended dos, and maybe powerPC too.
plus a bunch a hardware boards that i won't even mention
'cause i don't wanna distract the programmers' attention

from release 1.0, which is when we start
rakin' in the bucks, if ron does his part.
i'm gonna integrate with applications far and near
from mad libs and e-mail readers that we did here
to talking pens and notebooks, databases, screaming tanks
and with every contract puttin money in the banks
we'll say thanks
to sue,
yes you,
because she had the clue 
with srs, her thesis, which led her to
the delta system, version 1, then 2

synthesize (test test), synthesize (test test)
synthesize (test test test)
gimme gimme gimme some TEXT! (test test)
synthesize (test test), synthesize
segmentation fault...
core dumped...
(typing noises)
x ru
synthesize (test test), synthesize (test test)
synthesize (test test test)
gimme gimme gimme some TEXT! (test test)
synthesize (test test)
synthesize (test test test)
gimme gimme gimme some TEXT!

this is a test, this is a test
this is a te-est, this is a te-est
this is a test, test, teeeeeeesst

this is a test, this is a test, this is a test, this is a test
this is a test, this is a test, this is a test, this is a test
this is a test
this is a test
this is a test (test) test (test) test test test test test
test

so remember this, my friends, as you go back to work
makin me sound more human and less like a jerk
what this world needs is less cheap talk
and more eloquence.  that's it.  i'm done.  i'm walkin'.